The heartache and beauty of the last few years

There are few books I take the time to re-read. My most re-read book is probably Thomas Merton’s Seven Storey Mountain. Spiritual memoirs that truly speak to the soul are truly rare. There may be two more I’d add. (I have them on Audible read by the authors so I’d say to “re-listen”.)

Philip Yancey’s Where the Light Fell was deeply moving. Yancey is a great writer. His story is so compelling.

And add to that Beth Moore’s new memoir, All My Knotted-Up Life. Her voice reading it is truly powerful. I didn’t know Beth’s story so I thought it would be all humor… and then the darkness came. Her deep struggles were so impactful. I was driving and crying a lot.

Beth’s book touched me deeply because of the pain she went through in the last few years as she exited the Southern Baptist Convention and found the Anglican Church. She was so horribly abused by people she admired. I wasn’t abused in my former denomination. Just shut out. The pain was deep for me.

The last 5-6 years have been some of the hardest and some of the most beautiful all rolled into one for me. The exposure of culturalized Christianity in my own tribe caught me off guard. I was tossed around my the nationalism and the exposed racism. But when I found “home” in the Anglican Church, what joy I have known as well. The beauty of liturgy, the power of Scripture, all of it. Worship has become more meaningful.

There is still the underlying tones of racism and the struggles over nationalism, but the beauty of the journey now overwhelms me.

The journey is full of both heartache, pain, along with joy and deep satisfaction. We live in the mix. These are the tough lessons I am still learning.

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