The Gift of Being Yourself is a slim volume in a three volume set by David Benner. He gets to the core of knowing the reality of who we are, past the deceptions we like to throw up in defense, and get to the view that God sees… the one God sees and still loves us anyway!
He has a quote from Merton:
There is no greater disaster in the spiritual life than to be immersed in unreality, for life is maintained and nourished in us by our vital relation with reality.
Then Benner writes this:
The truly spiritual life is not an escape from reality but a total commitment to it.
God knows who we are.. in reality… and loves us. Deal with the “you” God knows.