The past few months have been spent digging a little more into the life of Dietrich Bonhoeffer. Lately that has been looking to untangle the complicated life he led so I’ve opened up some books looking at other people trying to track Bonhoeffer’s theological process.

And I’m in deep weeds.

The process of other theologians and historians trying to untangle the complicated thinking of Bonhoeffer leads to more complicated thinking and I end up in deep rabbit holes. It’s a process in which I can get quickly distracted. This is not what is needed for my year ahead.

Bonhoeffer is needed. So, quite simply, I can’t answer the tangled question of why Bonhoeffer said he was a pacifist and then enters a group that is working on killing Hitler. I have some ideas and they just won’t stack up to the deep work of theologians who have spent years studying Bonhoeffer. I don’t have the vocabulary.

What I do have is Bonhoeffer and his example. I need Bonhoeffer.

He was a complicated thinker in a complicated time and I need to be able to hold two seemingly opposing thoughts in my own mind as I navigate a chaotic time in our own culture. There are no clean cut lines.

Ideologies are not the way I wish to process all that is going on. The ideologies of capitalism, socialism, progressivism, conservatism… the exploration of democratic systems or autocratic systems… and getting hung up on which “system” is correct… this I consider rubbish. For one reason: they are all deeply flawed. Ideologies have ultimate breaking points. To hold to one and make any type of argument that “this system alone” is right is not the fool’s errand I want to join.

As an example, I cannot be “all Palestinian” or “all Israel” in the current conflict. I cannot celebrate the death of Israelis because Israel has been cruel to the Palestinians any more than I can celebrate the death of Palestinians because they attacked Israel. I am not “all in” for either “camp.” It’s far more complicated and entangled and it takes complicated thinking to avoid the pitfalls of being all Israel or all Palestinian.

What I am is all Jesus. It is not the idea of Jesus I want to pursue. It is the person of Jesus. My commitment in the days ahead is to the One I have always wanted to follow. I am not a Christian because I follow a set of doctrines. I am a Christian because I long to follow Christ. It is a simple statement and the most complex way to go in this life. It is difficult. It is a wild journey.

All I know for the year ahead is to lean into Jesus, prayer, and the Word. I want to hear the Spirit and then obey.

And this is why I need Bonhoeffer. He knew it meant a complicated way of living in Nazi Germany. He had to speak out about Hitler and the dangers of nationalism. He also realized it fell on deaf ears most of the time. Yet, he had to walk that path.

Christ is all I have. Christ is all I want.

Follow him.
Love his Word.
Lean in with prayer.
Show the beauty of Jesus.

This is the path I must walk.