Wrestling with who I am

I am so grateful for the walk I have with the Lord. Struggle as I might, his Spirit keeps leading. When I am walking in discipline it gives room for the Holy Spirit to direct. One of my regular disciplines is to read through the Daily Office Scriptures. In the new Anglican Book of Common Prayer, that is a big chunk every day.

What I have allowed myself to do is simply be on that journey and listen. There are times when the Spirit says, “Slow it down here. Camp here. I have something to talk over with you.”

This is currently the case in Romans. I came to Chapter 5 and a holy nudge came to my spirit. “Camp here. I need to go over some things with you.”

I have used N.T. Wright’s The New Testament For Everyone series through this section of Romans (Chapters 5-8). The Spirit is using Paul and Wright to challenge my thinking all over again.

Paul is comparing our walk in Christ to the Exodus. We come through the waters of baptism as Israel came through the waters of the Red Sea. It is not our work. It is his work. Alone. By grace.

We are brought into a new reality, but our problem is we keep trying to go back to Egypt. The power of the Gospel is this: we have been planted in new soil and and a new reality exists.

The challenge, of course, is to live in that new reality.

This is the help I find in spiritual formation and liturgy. With both of these approaches, I have something to breathe facts into my life every day and every week. The liturgy drills reality into my heart and mind every week.

I am in the process of learning to “think straight.” It’s been a lifelong journey. And I am thankful for the Spirit who keeps on teaching me. “Slow down. Camp here. I have something you need to learn and I am going to teach you.”

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