Solving the Political Impasse

My family has figured out how to settle the impasse politicians have these days when it comes to… well… ANYTHING.

So, to pass a budget, we recommend following the rules of the Catholic conclave (modified). If they can elect a POPE in three ballots, surely some modified rules can get a budget passed in Congress.

First, lock them in a room together. No media. No texting staffers. No Facebook or Twitter. Every elected member in… no staff. (Of course, some of the Congressmen will have to be taught how to actually READ a bill before this session begins, since staffers do most of that work right now.)

For the first week, they get three meals a day. They can be transferred to a really nice hotel at night. No TVs in the rooms. No cocktail hour. Dinner and nighty night.

After the first week: breakfast and supper. Water and juice for lunch. A mid afternoon slice of apple might do them good.

After three weeks of no deal: Breakfast will consist of plain oatmeal and black tea. Supper will be a loaf of bread and water. At this time they are moved from the hotel to the Capitol building with cots. They get mattresses on the cots.

After five weeks: no more mattresses on the cots. Sleeping arrangements will then be a Republican next a Democrat.

Budget crisis solved.