I will call it a conspiracy theory. It’s the conspiracy to drive all of us to our couches and man-caves, into isolation, and never have to interact face to face again.

It is the Blockbuster Conspiracy. You can maybe get current movies on DVD at RedBox, but want to browse for and rent a somewhat older movie? Forget it.

Want to browse a bookstore and maybe sip a cup of coffee as you do? Forget it.

Want to watch a college football championship game on regular TV? Forget it.

We are being driven into our man caves and onto our couches, never to interact with a live human being again… unless they’re in tech support and we have them on the phone.

Want to watch a somewhat older movie? Either find it on Netflix online (which will probably be a futile search) or order it online or through the mail.

We are being driven into virtual worlds! I’m even blogging about this, screaming into a virtual void! SEE?!?!? They’re winning!

Whoever “they” are! If you’re a liberal… it’s the conservatives. If you’re a conservative, it’s the liberals. If you’re Bill Maher, it’s the Christians!

Just… RUN!!!!

Get out right now. Find a coffee shop. Order a cup of coffee and talk to someone face to face. Don’t allow the virtual gods to take you away!

Rise up out of those basements you thirty-something sons who haven’t showered in a month because you’ve been in 28 straight online gaming tournaments.

Step away from your computers, you facebook creeping women who stalk your husbands posts.

Shower first… then ARISE! Get thee to your neighborhood… something… anything! And TALK!