When a community loses its memory, its members no longer know one another. How can they know one another if they have forgotten or have never learned one another’s stories? If they do not know one another’s stories, how can they know whether or not they trust one another? People who do not trust one another do not help one another, and moreover they fear one another. And this is our predicament now. — Wendell Berry

When we fail to sit down together and learn from each other, we lose. When we don’t want to hear someone else’s story, we lose. When we want to drown out all other stories, or make them “less than” ours, we lose. 

My life is better for knowing others. I get to know them from learning their stories. When I learn of someone’s upbringing in a tough area of America, where it was scraping by to survive, and see how far they’ve come, I am better for knowing that story. When I learn of a journey from another country, from the oppression they faced in so many forms, and see where they are now, I am better for knowing that person. 

In the months following 9/11 I worked harder to deepen my friendships with Muslim friends, and then become friends with more of them. I had a friend who taught a missions class at a college and we set up a visit between his class and a high school class at a private school attended by mostly Muslims. The director of the school had his juniors and seniors meet the college students. It was a time of learning from each other. 

The director thanked me for bringing the college class in. I said, “The more we know each other, the less we fear.” 

Sit and listen to the stories. In the last few years of my dad’s life, even though dementia was taking his short term memory, I would ask him questions about his early years and he could remember those stories. It opened more opportunities to know my dad. 

When I hear a story, I can begin, as Wendell Berry says, to TRUST that person. 

I am done with fear. If I am angered by a conservative, I will find a way to sit down with with them and ask about their story. If I am angered by a progressive, same thing. I want to KNOW THEM. The more I know of them, the less I fear. 

We are losing community because we let fear drive how we see someone else. 

National fear mongering won’t “save” us. Hoping in a national solution won’t “save” us. 

WE save us. It is local. It is sitting together. Listening. Learning. Overcoming.