Some favorite quotes:
“When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years.”
“A lie can travel half way around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes.”
“Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.”
“Always do what is right. It will gratify half of mankind and astound the other.”
“Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.”
“Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.”
“It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt.”
Apprentice 2 Jesus 
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