Fantasy Headlines for the End of the Year:

“Stores to close 4 p.m. Christmas Eve to give employees a break”

“NRA admits they actually have about a dozen guns too many in the United States”

“Planned Parenthood admits there are some abortions that should be turned into adoptions”

“Democrats agree they like spending too much”

“Republicans agree they love making bombs too much”

“The ‘Fiscal Cliff’ is only about 6 inches high”

“Children are actually going to school to STUDY”

“Americans in general decide to pay attention to the ‘lonely’ in their neighborhoods”

A guy can dream.