This was the coldest Thanksgiving in a LONG time in Minnesota. To celebrate, we played our annual football game on the frozen tundra. Here is what “cold” means to different people:

“Cold” is a relative term. Use the handy list below to overcome
the confusion. Degrees (Fahrenheit)

65 – Hawaiians declare a two-blanket night
60 – Californians put on sweaters (if they can find one)
50 – Miami residents turn on the heat
45 – Vermont residents go to outdoor concerts
40 – You can see your breath
– Californians shiver uncontrollably
– Minnesotans go swimming
35 – Italian cars don’t start
32 – Water freezes
30 – You plan your vacation to Australia
25 – Ohio water freezes
– Californians weep pitiably
– Minnesotans eat ice cream
– Canadians go swimming
20 – Politicians begin to talk about the homeless
– New York City water freezes
– Miami residents plan vacation further South
15 – French cars don’t start
– Cat insists on sleeping in your bed with you
10 – You need jumper cables to get the car going
5 – American cars don’t start
0 – Alaskans put on T-shirts
-10 – German cars don’t start
– Eyes freeze shut when you blink
-15 – You can cut your breath and use it to build an igloo
– Arkansans stick tongue on metal objects
– Miami residents cease to exist
-20 – Cat insists on sleeping in pajamas with you
– Politicians actually do something about the homeless
– Minnesotans shovel snow off roof
– Japanese cars don’t start
-25 – Too cold to think
– You need jumper cables to get the driver going
-30 – You plan a two week hot bath
– Swedish cars don’t start
-40 – Californians disappear
– Minnesotans button top button
– Canadians put on sweaters
– Your car helps you plan your trip South
-50 – Congressional hot air freezes
– Alaskans close the bathroom window
-80 – Hell freezes over
– Polar bears move South
– Viking Fans order hot cocoa at the game (Obviously written in pre-Dome days)
-90 – Lawyers put their hands in their own pockets