Dear Royals… America liked you better as a doormat

Dear Royals,

I usually write my annual letter of disappointment to you early in Spring Training. I was so thankful to not have to write that this year because you took the season to the last possible out last year. What a ride!

But America seems to have a beef with you now. They liked you better as doormats. But now that you can’t be knocked to the ground so easily, and you’re showing a bit of bite to your game… writers aren’t “in” so much. Get a little moxie and people just get a bit shocked.

First of all, don’t just go out to look for a fight, but second of all… thank you. You are playing like winners from the start and you just won’t be backed down with chippy little words like you used to.

Let’s play ball and let’s get back to the Series. YOU are a good team.


San Francisco bans a song

In the spirit of baseball superstition, the city of San Francisco will ban the Lorde song “Royals” from the airwaves for the duration of getting spanked by the KC Royals in the World Series. (Just wishful thinking on that last part.)

Hey, FRISCO! (I know you hate that… so I’m saying it.) The song isn’t even about the Royals! DUH! It was inspired by George Brett… but the singer is 17 years old! What in the world does SHE know?!?!

I’m swearing off sourdough bread for the next two weeks in protest.

And here is a parody of the song that actually talks about… you know… the REAL Royals.

Here is to a (hopefully) fun World Series!