“I love being an American. I love this place in which I have been placed — its language, its history, its energy. But I don’t love ‘the American way,’ its culture and values. I don’t love the rampant consumerism that treats God as a product to be marketed. I don’t love the dehumanizing ways that turn men, women, and children into impersonal roles and causes and statistics. I don’t love the competitive spirit that treats others as rivals and even as enemies.” (Eugene Peterson, The Pastor, p. 4)

There is something more to this life. I do love being an American… but when I grate against the consumerism or the pursuit of money or the transactional way we treat people, I can be treated like I don’t love this nation. Being a consumer or wanting to pursue wealth shouldn’t be the markers of being American. I am grateful for a place where I can worship freely and be with people of all kinds. I love the openness of the land. While I like to complain about how long it takes me to drive anywhere, I still marvel at the place where I live and the vast expanses of… nothing. Very few people. Lots of open areas with forests or fields or streams.

But the “culture” we’ve made is not enough. I long for a love of something more. The richness of the Kingdom is what draws me ultimately. It is not to “get things done.” It is to be with people and bear witness to the goodness of God.

Ultimately, my life will be a “failure” in American culture. All I wanted was to be in a community to pay attention (as Peterson would say, p. 5) and see what is going on between humanity and then between humanity and God. The marker of my life won’t be noticed. But along the way I have hoped to bear witness. I have wanted to notice people, and then notice the work of God that is in them.

I love being an American. I just have a longing for something more.