It is rare that “testimony time” in church goes weird. It can be a lot of other things, but “weird” isn’t usually a descriptor.

I started telling the story in yesterday’s post of my top two strange testimonies. My all-time top one just stayed weird. Number two, which happened this past weekend, ended up fine.

My all-time top testimony in the “strange” category happened when we were planting a church in Kansas. We had some “interesting” people come through due to our location. One Sunday night we had a very small crowd (okay, group) and at the end a guy asked if he could say a few words. Instead of standing up and giving his testimony, he actually came up to the pulpit.

He then began to talk about how all things being possible in God. The start was good. Then, he kept talking.

All things are possible because he had tested it. I think he may have mentioned his trip to the moon first (maybe it was Mars), but then he distinctly mentioned his trip to the sun. What struck me about this part of the testimony was he said the sun isn’t as hot as people think. But God protected him. All things are possible.

There’s not much to do after that but pray and go home.

This last Sunday, the testimony started with a bit of shock, but got better (with an assist from my wife, thankfully). An African lady stood up to give thanks to God and it began with, “I came home from work late one night and there was a naked white man sleeping on my couch…”

Since I still needed to preach my message and get to communion, this was not going to be easy to get out of if the testimony continued to be this strange. While I could cut down my message, I knew right then I was NOT going to go from a story of a naked white guy on a couch to communion.

Fortunately, the testimony came up from there, though she never really got around to explaining the REASON for the naked white guy being on her couch. After she told the story of asking her son, then her daughter about the guy on the couch, and neither one really knew what was going on, she called the police who took care of the naked white guy.

My wife piped in for the lady, “Thank God for protecting your children!” (This really was the point of her testimony, but my wife very wisely helped everyone SEE that point.) We found out later the guy probably ended up there in a drunken stupor from the party in the apartment below. The kids had failed to lock the door when they went to bed, so the guy just stumbled into their apartment, found the couch and crashed.

It’s rare that testimony times get THAT interesting. As I said on Sunday morning, “Well, THAT is a first for testimonies…”