Category Archives: Solitude

The Lesson of the Controlled Burn

Last week when I arrived at the retreat center for my silent prayer retreat the staff let me know they would be doing a controlled burn in the meadow near my cabin. It saved me from panicking when I saw the smoke a few hours later. Being a guy, I had to walk over to see what was happening.

The crews set intentional small fires in certain areas to burn off undergrowth. The spots they picked actually went up to mature trees and some saplings. After the burn was over I walked over to see what was left. The mature trees were fine as they stood in the midst of blackened ground. I was amazed that even the saplings were fine. The charred areas were clearly defined. The crews had perfectly controlled the burn, then made sure the fires were completely out before they left.

As I walked through that area the Spirit spoke to my heart.

“Silence and solitude is like a controlled burn. I can bring you to this place and work on you. The junk in your life can be burned off if you let me. If you don’t allow this junk to be burned off, then the fire that burns later will burn out of control and even what is living may not survive.”

It was a powerful visual for me. If I allowed the Spirit to mold me and shape me, it was a controlled burn. There are just things that need re-adjusting in my life from time to time. If I don’t get rid of junk, it piles up. The Spirit can pull me aside in prayer and deal with that junk, OR I can let it build up and allow a wildfire to start. It’s up to me.

I am thankful for the controlled burn.

I am also thankful for the gentle rain that fell on the retreat center the day I left. It was another reminder of another work of the Spirit in my life. Growth can happen when the Spirit is allowed to plow the field.

The Gift of Silence

The discipline of silence and solitude is God’s gift to us. It is not our time to come in with our agendas. It is his time to allow us to gear down.

To put it bluntly for pastors, it is a time that is needed. We talk too much. There are times we need the Spirit to say to us, “Sit down and shut up!”

Annual silent retreats are becoming a needed rhythm for me. I get at least 48 hours away, turn everything off, and embrace the silence. It is God’s time to fairly shout in my spiritual ears. Over the years I have learned to go into this time with as few things as possible. This year it was as Pacem in Terris, which has simple hermitages. The hermitage has no electricity or running water. Propane stove, propane heat. Propane lamp. Candles. A bed, a rocking chair, an altar. A wonderful screened in porch with a chair.

I don’t come with books to read. This year it was the instruction from the Spirit to read 1 John and pray. Just wait. Let the Spirit lead to the next thing. To be honest, it’s a fast 48 hours.

I am thankful for the time away and for the gift of silence. The Lord certainly was NOT silent in that time!

Embracing the Silence

As I am away on a silent retreat, I wanted to leave some thoughts on silence and solitude. These are from Thomas Merton.

“In order to find God in ourselves, we must stop looking at ourselves, stop checking and verifying ourselves in the mirror of our own futility, and be content to be in Him and to do whatever He wills, according to our limitations, judging our acts not in the light of our own illusions, but in the light of His reality which is all around us in the things and people we live with.” - from “No Man is an Island

“Prayers and sacrifice must be used as the most effective spiritual weapons in the war against war, and like all weapons they must be used with deliberate aim: not just with a vague aspiration for peace and security, but against violence and against war. This implies that we are also willing to sacrifice and restrain our own instinct for violence and aggressiveness in our relations with other people. We may never succeed in this campaign, but whether we succeed or not, the duty is evident. It is the great Christian task of our time. Everything else is secondary, for the survival of the human race itself depends upon it. We must at least face this responsibility and do something about it. And the first job of all is to understand the psychological forces at work in ourselves and in society. “ – from Seeds


In Silence

Be still.
Listen to the stones of the wall.
Be silent, they try
To speak your

Name.
Listen
To the living walls.
Who are you?
Who
Are you? Whose
Silence are you?

Who (be quiet)
Are you (as these stones
Are quiet). Do not
Think of what you are
Still less of
What you may one day be.
Rather
Be what you are (but who?) be
The unthinkable one
You do not know.

O be still, while
You are still alive,
And all things live around you
Speaking (I do not hear)
To your own being,
Speaking by the Unknown
That is in you and in themselves.

“I will try, like them
To be my own silence:
And this is difficult. The whole
World is secretly on fire. The stones
Burn, even the stones
They burn me. How can a man be still or
Listen to all things burning? How can he dare
To sit with them
When all their silence
Is on fire?”

~ Thomas Merton ~


Running Silent

The last two days before my sabbatical are full of activity. I wish I had something more profound to say, but as I head into a week of silence, I’ve got nothing!

In that silence will also be a self-imposed “blog” silence for the entire month. Thank you for your prayers. So many have expressed your thoughtfulness to me and I am grateful for the support. Many blessings!

See you on the flip side.

Dan

Restful Warfare

One of the keys of silence is rest. There is such a need to unplug and let the quiet envelope us once again.

But in that rest comes war. The silence, if we allow it to take effect, will actually us to hear the voice of God more clearly. There is an enemy with a stake in us NOT hearing God. It’s why he likes us having so much noise in our lives.

Coming aside is a paradox. Rest for the soul, but warfare as well. In both we find the hand of God.

Coming Aside

I will be taking a “mini-sabbatical” in August. It’s the first time I have tried this. I pastor a small church and we simply can’t afford to go longer with the time frame, but I am grateful for the opportunity to come aside.

This sabbatical is crucial. I’ve been pastor at this church for 12 years. Earlier this year I felt the leading of the Spirit to come aside and hear what the Lord would have for us as a church. The noise of life has been overwhelming and I just need to hear.

The first week will be spent in a silent retreat. (Mostly silent, anyway.) This will be the most crucial time, since the noise of life has been so intense, I just have too much junk built up. It will take some intense prayer to clear the junk out!

During that time, and probably the duration of August, I will make every effort to NOT be on the computer. Blogging has become addicting! I love following so many blogs and the interaction with many of you has been wonderful.

So, I’ll try to blog like a madman for the next five days! ;)

I appreciate your prayers during this time. It is crucial for my ministry and our church.

Struggles with Ego

Over the weekend I spent time in silent retreat meditating on Ephesians 1-3. One of the key disciplines of a silent retreat is taking time to quiet the soul. Henri Nouwen used the description of getting the monkeys out of the trees. We get all the distractions flying at us and chattering away in those first hours of silent retreat.

That happened for me. I fully understand that it truly takes three full days in silence to overcome those monkeys and hear the voice of God. However, I also realize I don’t always get that opportunity, so I must trust the Lord fully to speak. He is so gracious to help me in the time that I have to commit to the discipline.

I was so grateful to pour into Ephesians 1-3 and have the Lord pour his love out to me. Even so, the monkeys still chattered. The worst of them were exposed, which I suppose should be a blessing. I know the root of one of my deepest struggles. The trouble is DEALING with that struggle. So, it is absolutely no surprise to me that I run across an article dealing with the exact issue I confront. I am so grateful for those God-ordained appointments! It doesn’t make it any easier, but I sense the tools being given to me. I am thankful for the gifts of the Spirit to help me battle my huge ego.

Some of the thoughts from the article:

At first I thought my anger was giving me strength, bolstering my courage so I could deal with the issues. But the anger soon betrayed me, sapping my energy and compromising my ability to act according to wisdom and divine direction. It’s only as I have turned my hurt—and the overwhelming urge to prove that I’m right—over to God that I’ve begun to be able to respond (and sometimes resist responding) from a place of holy, rather than human, strength.

I do not have a conflict with a particular friend, but I do have a deep conflict in myself with a group of people. The struggle is my own. They are probably not even aware. Yet, it is a struggle, and I deal with the anger.

The Scripture the author finds to help is Psalm 37. The key is to roll this issue onto God. Yet, it is not so “easy” as to just “roll away.”

But here’s the thing: I would be fine with rolling my burdens onto God if I were guaranteed resolution. There’s a joke that describes the effects of playing a country song backwards: Your spouse returns, your dog is resurrected, and your truck starts working again. I wish that surrender to God worked the same way.

This is the crux of my dilemma. I want to know that my issues will be heard. I understand full well those things probably will not be heard. I will continue to be ignored. Being ignored is the worst. I would rather be confronted. Being ignored has made me angry. I am looking for a guarantee in my resolution. That is not my call. So, I must roll my burden onto the Lord without a guarantee of “resolution.” How fair is that?

Here is the conclusion of the article:

I have a choice. I can wear myself out pushing the boulders of my life around my prison yard. Or I can be meek, and roll those burdens onto God. I’m not sure exactly what Jesus meant when he said the meek will “inherit the earth,” but I’ve certainly discovered that this world is a better place when I roll it off my shoulders and into his hands.

There is a leaning on the grace of God that keeps getting tested. I think I keep failing.

Our Adversary majors in three things: noise, hurry and crowds. If he can keep us engaged in “muchness” and “manyness,” he will rest satisfied. (Richard Foster)

Language… has created the word “loneliness” to express the pain of being alone. And it has created the word “solitude” to express the glory of being alone. (Paul Tillich)

We have the need to create space. We can create that space, that margin, through silence and solitude. Through silence and solitude we learn once again the true power of words. In solitude we find Christ in us, the hope of glory.