Apprentice2Jesus

Ramblings of a Confessing Pentecostal

Archive for the category “Questions on life”

17 Nov 2011
3 Comments

Thoughts on Desperation

The story is sketchy. The details are sparse.

The news only says a woman walked onto the freeway at the beginning of rush hour and lay down in the lane. Several vehicles hit her before anyone knew what was happening.

This is what I know of the story to this point, but it is a story that has stayed with me. What was it that caused someone to walk out into that situation?

I thought of the Henry David Thoreau quote:

Most men lead lives of quiet desperation and go to the grave with the song still in them.

Was this a life lived in quiet desperation? What was the song that did not get out?

Perhaps it was nothing like that. Yet, the story has caught my imagination for the moment. Someone letting things go in anonymity. Was anyone paying attention?

Posted in People, Questions on life
25 Nov 2010
1 Comment

Dare to Hope

The text for the first Sunday of Advent is Isaiah 2:1-5. As I work on this text I am always puzzled by the latter part of v. 4. There will be a time when war is studied no more.

For traditional dispensationalists it can only come after the Rapture, etc.

For other traditions, that time is something still to look forward to… but how? When? Those are the challenges. And they can lead to great difficulties.

I am sure there was hope at one time that the United Nations might have provided this answer. But when we refuse to make Yahweh the focus of our hope and teaching, it is futile. The United Nations severely disappoints.

Yet, why give up hope? Why not still look to God and live with hope?

Think of the possibilities if we DID refuse to “study war no more.”

Beat some of those defense dollars into research dollars. Beat some other defense dollars into education dollars. Beat other defense dollars into healthcare reform dollars. Into energy reform dollars. Into technology reform dollars. Into performing arts dollars.

Just THINK! Don’t just settle for pat answers. DREAM!

Would the people of God follow the dream of this day? To CHOOSE to educate themselves in fields that would advance creativity again? Why are we so hesitant? I think it’s because we’ve become lazy.

We need to set our eyes again on the HOPE found in God. Then, even though the world decays around us, and there are things that may look hopeless (you have to read Isaiah 1, then Isaiah 2:6ff to see this whole picture), we continue to hope.

DARE TO HOPE!

Dare to do something extraordinary for the HOPE of Christ! Dare to LOVE rather than hate. Dare to CREATE rather than destroy. Dare to BUILD UP rather than tear down.

See what COULD happen if we would dare to truly follow Yahweh and we would DARE to hope!

Living with Expectation and Hope… in YAHWEH,

The Apprentice

Posted in Bible Study, Questions on life
16 Sep 2010
2 Comments

Gut Punch

It is unbelievable how this week has unfolded. The news keeps coming and it’s so heart-wrenching. A friend struggling with a wife’s mental illness. The loss of a great woman of God (my wife’s grandmother). The news of cancer striking at a friend, and they have kids all under the age of 12. The news of a children pastor’s wife dying suddenly. Overwhelming.

A few weeks ago I was in a Borders bookstore and saw the new book by Mary Beth Chapman. I could only read the first two pages as she related that horrible day when their son accidentally ran over their five-year-old daughter… I had to put the book down and almost run out of the store because of my emotions. Now, an interview in Christianity Today tells her story and you will want to read it. Have the Kleenex close by.

These are days for crying out to God. We need to see some miracles. We need to grieve. We need God to be our ever present help in times of trouble.

Posted in People, Questions on life
27 Apr 2010
7 Comments

The Opposite of Love…

A few weeks ago at a conference one of the plenary speakers said something that has rolled around in my mind since then. She said the opposite of love is not hate. The opposite of love is silence. (That may be the wrong word, but it conveys the thought.)

When you ignore someone, you are basically saying, “I do not even acknowledge your existence.” At least with an act of hatred you are acknowledging that person is in the room.

It’s a powerful thought. I know that when I bring something up in a meeting or try to point out an issue and then get NO RESPONSE, it is far more hurtful than having a reaction to counter what I just said.

Posted in People, Questions on life
22 Feb 2010
2 Comments

The Pain of Satisfaction

The other day I read a story about a man I have admired for well over 20 years. He is the top in his profession, in my opinion. He has known tremendous success in just about any way you could measure it. Not just money, but integrity, family, awards… I have not known him personally, but everything I could ever read about him spoke of excellence.

The other day I heard a story about another person. Not nearly as well known, but a friend. Though I’ve known of difficulties, I have known this person to be a loving person. Though there are struggles, she would be one I would look at and say, “You know what? She loves God and pursues God and loves people. I truly admire that.”

The stories I heard about both of them were the same: ultimately, they weren’t “enjoying the ride.” For the successful man, the article I read talked about how he never let the successes carry him along. He would let the defeats in life depress him for weeks or months. He couldn’t savor the successes, even when it meant so much to so many people.

For the friend, she was allowing words of defeat and depression take away all the Lord had done in her life over these years.

It is like we cannot believe in contentment. Paul’s admonition that “godliness with contentment is great gain” is lost on us. It is too often lost on me. There is always something better I SHOULD be doing, or I left something undone. And should I ever feel a moment of contentment, it is often overwhelmed in a few minutes with guilt. “There are so many who don’t have what I have.” Or other thoughts like that.

Yet, the Word almost yells at us about our incredible God. He is abundant. In him we FEAST on his grace and mercy.

“My soul will be satisfied as with fat and rich food, and my mouth will praise you with joyful lips” (Ps. 63:5).

“In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of his grace, which he lavished upon us, in all wisdom and insight” (Eph. 1:7,8).

I am incredibly, deeply satisfied in God’s grace and provision. Truly. My heart is full. It is such a pain to write those words.

Posted in Prayer, Questions on life, Spiritual Formation and tagged , , , ,
30 Jul 2009

Be Awake in Your Own Life

I ran across a review at the NY Times website that caught my attention. The book is called The Slippery Year and it’s what the book is NOT about that caught me.


The author said this:

“It’s really a book about nothing,” said Ms. Gideon, 45, in a telephone interview last week from the summer home in Maine that she was renting with her husband, Ben Rewis, and their son, who is also named Ben. “Or everything. What I discovered is that writing about nothing, I was writing about everything.”

The publisher noted this is written by someone who didn’t have the time or the discretionary income to go to Italy for three months to discover themselves. The point of the book, in writing about the very ordinary events of a life around the age of 40, is that you can discover yourself right where you are.

“The goal is to be awake in your own life.”

Good thought. The author didn’t have to battle through a divorce or depression. It’s just life. And in that life there is the possibility of seeing the blessings.

The review goes on to explore how such a book just may NOT resonate with readers right now. You know, times are tough, people can’t afford things while this lady is writing about nice vacations… blah, blah, blah.

We always seem to find a reason to jettison the ordinary. We just can’t seem to be happy. I think of Paul’s words to the Philippians: “I have learned to be content in whatever situation I find myself in.”

Content. It’s just not the American way.

I have a life. It’s a good one. It’s not front page news and it’s not the stuff of memoirs. It’s not something that gets me national attention as a speaker or preacher, but it’s the life I have. Am I awake in it?
Posted in Questions on life | Leave a Comment
06 Jun 2007

Are there not days when the news is so overwhelming it just knocks the very wind out of you? It’s not the silly matters of Lindsay Lohan or Paris Hilton. It’s not the antics of some athlete.

The news, for whatever reason, will seem to take up the cause of some missing child or woman. This time it was from my home turf, so I paid a little more attention to it. A newly graduated high school senior girl goes missing on Saturday. Today, they find her body. I saw that story and everything just left me.

Another story I saw coupled with it related the story of a 15 year old girl held captive in a closet that was hidden from view. Against her will.

There are days and there are days. This is a day where I know there are no answers but I am left with huge questions. What in the world possesses such sick people? What possesses someone to take an 18 year old girl captive in a parking lot in full view of surveillance cameras, then kill her?

What possesses a couple to kidnap a girl and hold her in a hidden closet for a year?

What is happening in our world? How do we respond?

I know the short answer is “sin.” But every once in awhile the whole issue of the depth of humanity’s sin just slaps me hard in the face and this is one of those days. Our world is unbelievably dark and we are in need of LIGHT. We are in desperate need of change.

Lord, save us. Please have mercy.

Posted in Questions on life | Leave a Comment

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